Concerning Alan D Moore, and the existence of his website
Who am I? First, let me tell you who I am not:
- I'm not a famous graphic novelist who wrote League of Extraordinary Gentlemen or anything else. The last graphic novel I wrote was back around '87; it was illustrated with crayola markers and chronicled the fictional adventures of my cat, Cricket. Only one copy was ever produced, and its whereabouts are unknown.
- I am not one of the (at least) 3 other Alan Moores who write music for television and film and actually make a living at it. I have written music, and some of it with the intention of being used for film or television, but mostly it gets used on obscure cable channels in Eastern Europe at 3 a.m. Thanks to those other 3 guys, though, I get credit for a lot of stuff I never wrote (even if their stuff is cheesier than mine).
- I'm not a famous Nashville producer who helped people with their careers years ago. I am a horrendously unsuccessful Nashville producer who has only produced music for desperate friends, family members, and a few equally unsuccessful artist types who didn't realize I had gotten ahold of their scratch tracks. The only help I will offer for your music career is to give you some bitter-old-codger-style advice to be prepared to sell your soul or get a real job.
- I'm not the guy who owes you money. No, no, that wasn't me. Seriously.
- I'm not an associate professor at the University of Wyoming. Nope, not even that.
- I have nothing to do with "Musicians and Fine Artists for World Peace", or Butterfly Gardeners, or anything of that nature. I am a musician, but there's nothing very fine about my art; and while butterflies are swell, I don't think World Peace is realistic this side of Armageddon unless you have an iron-fisted global dictator who puts all opposition to death. So I'll settle for a little unrest.
- I'm not Spartacus. Not even a little.
- I'm not a police officer from Jamestown. Not even a little.
- Sadly, I have nothing to do with NASA or the JPL. I did build model rockets as a kid, and narrowly avoided some nasty burns while doing things not recommended by model rocket engine manufacturers.
So if I'm not one of these wholly remarkable people who force me to use my middle initial, why do I have a website?
Good question; I suppose it seems vain, in some ways. But the reality is that I like computers, I like making web pages (even if I'm not astoundingly good at it), I like making music, I like writing meandering diatribes, and I like pretending I can write software. Mostly, though, I would just rather spend my time learning new things and making new things than keeping up with the latest episode of must-see-tv; and rather than turn my hair grey(er) trying to eek a paycheck from the fruits of such efforts, I just put them here for the enjoyment of anyone who enjoys such things while eeking my living from a cushy government job.
If you think you know me, as some people seem to, here are some ways you might:
- You jammed out stuff from the Cure's first album in the middle of the night at a Chapel Hill UMYF Jr High lock-in.
- You studied Karate with Ray Sarkine of Indianapolis, IN, back when hair metal was cool.
- You complained the sound man at "the REV" in Evansville, IN, because the hardcore punk concert you came to see wasn't loud enough.
- John Hever was your pastor, or your self, during the first Clinton presidency.
- You attended or played in concerts by unknown Christian rock bands in the midwest with much frequency between 1996 and 2001.
- Your name is Brian Rolfson and your step mom made you eggs or malt-o-meal on every alternate morning.
- You were a member of Boy Scout Troop 97 between the time when Duran Duran was cool and Desert Storm happened.
- You drank coffee at the Nipper's corner Starbucks during 2002.
- Your last name is Pennington and you have family from northern Michigan.
- You attended the Interlochen Arts academy during the Iran-Contra hearings and were assaulted with whipper-snappers by a socially-inept preteen.
- You worked at, or purchased a really awful hotdog from, the Kroger in Surfside, SC during the summer of 1997.
- You are a Christian, and Jesus has returned; the dead have risen, the new Kingdom has come, yet for some reason this site still exists and you are reading it. Haven't you better things to do at this point?
There are certainly other ways you could know me, but quite frankly knowing me isn't very important so I wouldn't stress about it if you're stumped. Just browse the site, take what you like, and leave the rest for someone else. And if you run across one of the many comment boxes scattered about here, please make use of it in a positive, useful manner. Thanks!